Words from our President, November 2024
Jen Evans • November 20, 2024
Dear Kids First Parents,
I just wanted to take a moment to share a quick reflection on this wonderful and unpredictable journey we call parenthood. I absolutely love being a parent! It’s a rollercoaster ride filled with joy, laughter, and the occasional “What was I thinking?” moment.
I would like to think most of us approach parenthood with a mix of excitement and nerves, armed with all the (expert) advice we’ve gathered over the years—like a superhero with an arsenal of parenting do's and don’ts. And then, “BAM!” that tiny human arrives, and suddenly, all those expert plans go out the window. I can’t help but chuckle when I think back to my twenty-something self, confidently declaring how I would raise my kids. Insert eye roll here! If only I had known that “expertise” would quickly turn into “winging it” while trying to decipher baby babble, two year old ‘assertiveness’, and the trials and tribulations of the teenage years.
So, after 35 years of working with children, employing thousands of teenagers, admiring differing parenting styles up close and from afar, and raising my own children, what would I say to the younger version of myself clumsily navigating parenthood, while trying to play it cool?
- Have clear family principles to use as your GPS and share them often with your children.
- Offer choices when it makes sense, with guardrails when appropriate (when & then, this or that model for younger children who are learning to make choices). This gives a sense of autonomy while still maintaining influence.
- Advocate for them, but don’t steal the struggle- from stacking blocks, to striking out, teach them to embrace the challenge and struggle, then celebrate the small wins. This creates coping skills for life and kids who chase a challenge!
- Crying is ok for babies, and for teenagers (also ok for parents!).
- The journey is far more valuable than nearly any single moment.
- Children learn through natural consequences (affordable ones of course). When we intervene to soften disappointment or the pain of a poor decision, we are actually robbing them of the ability to build confidence in decision making and the important lesson of learning through true choice.
- Our role goes beyond raising our children through adolescence. We are preparing them for adulthood, to be mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, friends, employees, business owners, professionals. Enjoy them. Support them. Teach them.
- We can’t love them too much, but we can prepare them too little. Parenting in the difficult moments DOES NOT mean we love them less.
While I might not have nailed the parenting thing perfectly, I count myself lucky to have surrounded myself with countless others who blazed the trail before me. One thing is for sure: we all seem to be expert parents before we have kids and long after they’ve flown the nest. It’s that messy middle part—when we’re knee-deep in tantrums, laundry, and endless “Why?” questions—that really throws us for a loop! But here’s the silver lining: somehow, despite the chaos, our kids seem to turn out just fine.
So here’s to us—the brave souls navigating this chaos together! Let’s embrace the messiness, laugh at our blunders, and cherish every moment, even the ones that involve digging out the endless supply of cheerios from the mysterious abyss of the minivan.
Grateful for the chaos,
Jen
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JENNIFER EVANS
President
Kids First Sports Center
7900 E Kemper Rd | Cincinnati, OH 45249
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